WITTY MR. GOULD

Old Mr. Anslem Gould was a witty lawyer. One day while arguing a case, he was more or less fighting with the learned magistrate orally, forcing the letter to say, "i don't like crochety old lawyers who have passed the biblical life Span of three score years and ten appearing before me for they get angry for the slightest thing. How old are you Mr. Gould ?” 

"Sixty nine, Your Honour," replied Mr. Gould. 

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One day Mr. Gould appeared for the Defence before an English Supreme Court judge by the surname of Fox. Said Mr. fox addressing the former, "How is it that you have such an uncommon name? I think Pereras and Silvas are the most common names in Ceylon, ” Mr. Gould was rather upset over that personal remark. Said he, “Yes, my Lord. Pereras and Silvas are as common in Ceylon as Foxes and Wolves are common in England. ' 

Another day a judge was scolding and shouting at a witness, whom Mr. Gould was examining. Mr. Gould sat down. Thereafter the judge said, "I suppose Mr. Gould you have finished.” 

"N0. sir, I am only waiting until the Court resumes its judicial temper." 

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There Was a farewell party for a Magistrate, who had received a transfer order and Mr, Gould too attended that party. 

Addressing the Magistrate, a lawyer said, ” You have been very kind to us, lawyers, sir, You have given us dates without grumbling.” Then Mr. Gould, who wanted to crack a' joke asked, “From where have they been brought-Egypt or Iraq?" 

 

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One day while at home, Mr. Gould's wife heard him saying; “If not for you, I would be gold." 

"You ungrateful man,” said his distressed wife erupting into a flood of tears, “here I am slaving for you day and night with seven children in addition to teaching to keep the home fires burning, and you say that if not for me you would be gold!” 

“Listen, woman," said Mr. Gould, ”my surname is Spelt G-O-U-L-D. You cut off the “U” and see what you find.”