THE PLANTER

George Thompson went from England to Africa to take up duties as a planter in Kenya. He was fond of hunting wild animals, and that was one of the reasons why he went to such a remote country, where the infrastructure was not even half so good as in such a developed country like the United Kingdom. However, he did not bring his family before seeing what it was like to live in a wild continent like Africa. 

The Superintendent of the neighbouring tea estate, also an Englishman, warned Thompson not to go out too far into the jungle without a guide cum bodyguard, as there were cannibals besides wild animals, inter alia, the gorillas, elephants and lions. Thompson sent for a guide, who had to be, of course, a native, who knew the jungle tracts well, and when the man came Thompson interviewed him. 

Guard:  Me shall certainly come to protect you, but must have money first. 

Thompson:  What, to pay you in advance! Don't you trust me? 

Guard:  Sure, me trust you. But me take no chances! The last man, who was a tourist me guarded, got killed and me never got money! 

Thompson:  And when the tourist was killed, you ran away? 

Guard:  Me no run away. The cannibals were my own people. They invited me for dinner. Me joined them because human flesh, is so delicious and tasty! 

Thompson: You are a funny body-guard and guide! Please go away; I don't want you! 

The next day Thompson took his gun and cartridges and went out alone hunting. When he entered the thick jungle, he heard some noise and turning towards the direction of the sound, he beheld a huge elephant poised to charge at him. He ran for a short distance and seeing that mass of flesh following him, he turned round, aimed his gun and went on firing. While many shots missed, some struck the animal all over its body Nevertheless; it kept on approaching Thompson, now very slowly. Thompson aimed the final shot at the forehead of the animal and pulled the trigger. The bullet hit the target-the beast staggered and fell down dead. 

The death of the elephant did not end Thompson's agony. Far away he saw a lion approaching him. Though an extremely courageous man, who held his cool even in front of a wounded wild elephant, he began to sweat when he realised that he had a gun with all cartridges exhausted. He ran for his dear life, ' and though he escaped the lion, he found that he had lost his way. Without knowing his bearings, he roamed here and there till he fell into a gang of savages-cannibals, who caught him and tied his hands with a strong creeper and took him to their quarters. 

The Chieftain of the gang seemed to be a civilized man and talked to Thompson in flawless English, the result, he said, of his Oxford education. 

Thompson: Can't you save me? I haven't done any harm to any of you. 

Chieftain: Very sorry; my boys haven't eaten the flesh of ‘homo sapiens’ for a long time. Not a soul came this way after a tourist was killed long ago. Even if I want to release you, others won't allow me to do so as they want to have a good feast. 

Thompson: You are an Oxford man, who use even Latin expressions and yet you want to eat your fellow men. 

Chieftain: Yes, but I use a knife, fork and spoon now.